Thoughts on my birthday

~Don’t know why I didn’t publish it then.

~Don’t know why I’m publishing it now.

Soul flight.
How I describe the feeling of each day that is filled with passion, inspiration and joy.
Mmm. Those days are my favourite.

I attempted to recall the moment of my birth several times today. Life still doesn’t feel real. Nothing is permanent and everything seems a beautiful illusion.

Life teaches you some fine lessons, regardless of whether you seek them or not. Plan transforms into action, experience transforms into reflection. Reflection transforms into guidance as it writes a page for itself in your current or previous chapter in life. The textbook of my life is so heavy and it’s all in my mind.

There is no set, single system for how you or I should live these few years of life.
It is unique to you. Embrace it. Open your arms to your own journey… It is yours for the taking.

I remember three years ago now when I was intimately in love with the natural world  (I turned a blind eye to the imperfections as best as I could). I admired the beautiful blue sky with white, wispy clouds…each and every green leaf on a tree… Everything was a miracle. My heart would overflow and then overflow some more and I would dance in bliss. Yet, when an unpleasant situation occurred, my worldly attachment became the bait that I had already bitten. I felt like a fish that was caught on a hook and reeled onto the land. Indeed it would feel like the world had turned on me. Ultimately, I was a puppet tugged by a million invisible strings (that, I could so clearly see). If it was stormy outside, I felt a grey heaviness looming in my chest. If I then played the song Come Clean, by Hilary Duff, I felt that the storm had a clarifying effect on me, like it brought out the sunshine within.

The weather, the music that you listen to, the food that you eat, the clothes that you wear, the things that you say (or don’t say) to yourself, the people around you and the things that they say, the shows that you watch, the literature that you read… (this list goes on and on…)
Pay attention. Everything has so much influence on your state of mind.
Also, optimism is actually good for you.

Once, I was confronted with the notion that I should not give much importance to that which is impermanent and unreal -this world- that morphs into a different world for each one of us. A temporary manifestation;

Each day composed of:

60,000 thoughts.
Trying to keep yourself busy and safe.

The time of the past is beyond us. The future is past us.
In a world that does great impressions of forever and boring, it is hard to grasp all this.
One must be stirred up.
Feel, you see.

When you are flying on a plane, how real does that feel?

Looking at the sheets of cloud hover
Beside and above you, enveloping
The entire stretch in a sea of white.


In such moments I am simultaneously in and out of touch with a world that I realise is never the same. There is still, however, an inexplicable non-physical barrier that doesn’t allow my self to truly feel the world’s weight.

Even in those moments…
All I can do is gaze.

People acknowledge it, I suppose. And then maybe they tell themselves to stop thinking about life.

Honey this world can kill you or save you, yet it is wholly impartial. Also, disappointment and happiness are closer to us than we think.
This world is your parent… and when it smacks you, it’s above the law.
Let the world flow, the moon rise, the sun dip, yet don’t form unbreakable attachments. Be ever present in the inner joy, that peace that is eternal. Love that which is eternal, within you. Then you cannot be flicked on and off like a light switch. Instead you will burn a steady flame till smoke.

I was a confused and frustrated, sad soul when this knowledge first acknowledged me. I still had such attachment to the beauty of this world. I got defensive and worried. Had I been doing it all wrong? I wondered. How I was supposed to live then?

I went through different phases. Self learning isn’t easy.
My report card was as follows:

Reject everything in this world – Fail

Hate everything. Hate those majestic, dying trees. The sunrise, the sunset. – Fail

Forget the wise lessons of detachment and pretend to carry on as usual. – Failed when misfortune fell upon me.

So I literally went through testing each of those out, trying to figure out life and how I should see it. Yes, I was confused.

I finally learnt the lesson: It is about appreciating and embracing detachment correctly. Then, all harmony – with a touch of natural reality – is restored again… Figuring this out has made me happier. Simply put, being detached, for me, means neither hating nor being possessively needy. It is a live and let live, go and let go philosophy.

The world is simply like that – thunderstorms one day, rainbows the next. Just move on without harboring any resentment, for your own peace of mind. Being truly detached allows you to take every blow as impersonally as you like. You can laugh at life.

I am still deeply moved by the gentle breeze, the soft touch.
Ancient dances and music.
The sweet green peas, a mini-mountain on my dinner plate…How round and elegant.

Everything that churns that bigger-than-life feeling in the soul. That is what I seek.

It feels perfect to embrace these wonders in the right way, so to develop qualities like gratitude, wonder and compassion.
That bigger-than-life feeling is necessary to manifest and motivate the soul flight in your heart.

Find your purity. Once you start seeking your self, that joy becomes your biggest strength. The longer that you are set in your joy, the more detached you can be from this outside world of transience. That’s when nothing can shake you. You can take the good and reject the bad easily.

It has the power to change your perception completely.


Published in: on December 14, 2016 at 2:34 PM  Leave a Comment  

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